Insomniac #11 – On Blade Runner and Why World-Building Matters

I’ve been thinking about restarting my vlog for the past few months, but with that came the usual trepidation of anxiety I get whenever I had a new idea on something to talk about.

It wasn’t that I didn’t think it was interesting or worth examining. In fact, the idea of going through the process of assembling a vlog is something I was still very much wanted to explore.

The problem…was I found myself wanting to do anything else other than sit in front of my camera and talk into it while trying not to look like an absolute burk.

It’s a common perception that people who work in media are self-effacing narcissists and while I’ve met and worked with my fair share of them in the past eight years, I can say with some degree of confidence that I am not one of those people.

The reason why I started in radio was so if I had to talk, the audience would only hear me, but not have to sit there and wonder what the hell some pudgy, pasty guy with a receding hairline is doing clogging up their news every night.

And considering once upon a time, I did live theater and loved every second of it, you’d think I’d be okay being under a potential spotlight still. Nothing could be further from the truth.

The longer I did it, the more uncomfortable I got. I didn’t like looking at me because I’ve long held the belief that nobody else likes to much either. Coincidentally, there’s a reason why I have only one mirror in my house, and unless I want my full security deposit back when I eventually vacate, it’s probably for the best that it remain where it is in my bathroom.

Now I suppose if I looked more like Christian Bale, Chris Evans, Chris Hemsworth, Colin Farrell or some other guy whose first name started with the letterĀ C, I might not be so self-conscious and shy about the rest of the world seeing me. As it is, though, I am…and I don’t know if that’s ever really going to change at this point.

But after taking some time off and seeing how some other vloggers have constructed their content, I figured I might give it one more college try and see if I can do so in a way I feel much more comfortable with. It took me about 15 hours to put this together, from start to finish, and for all the hiccups that came along with it over those two long days, I think if I’m going to keep doing it, I’ll be much happier doing so in a format like this.

You be the judge. Our lines are open.

Insomniac #10 – Game Changer

YouTube turned ten years old this week, and unbeknownst to many in my line of work, completely reinvented the ol’ adage that “The Revolution will be televised.”

Not quite, folks, but it still happened anyway.

Now if you don’t mind, I was up until WAY too late putting this together last night, so I’m going to go pass out now.

Wise Words

I’ve been sitting here all day figuring out the subject for my next vlog. I wanted to talk about what it’s like spending the majority of your life getting through traumatic events, dealing with depression and all the things which accompany it.

But I’m not ready yet, because I haven’t really started rehabilitating myself to the point where I can feel comfortable enough talking about it on camera.

Writing about it is one thing. Actually speaking about it is another beast entirely and I’m not there yet.

That said, I remembered this video tonight as I was compiling stuff for the vlog I am working on this weekend.

Ze Frank says it all a whole lot better than I can, and I freely admit that I go back to this whenever I need the reminder that things hopefully can and will get better. Tally Ho.

Look sir…a $%#&’n Star Destroyer!!

I admit that I was never more disappointed as both a Star Wars and film fan as I was with the “Prequel Trilogy”. So much so, in fact, that I have been highly reluctant to even hope that J.J. Abrams and co. can right the ship and make the franchise good again.

I wasn’t all too impressed with the first teaser when it was released. But this…?

This one gives me hope, which is equal parts dangerous and glorious.

A Fighter is Born

I was seven years-old on April 15, 1985.

I was living in the non-descript town of Raymond, New Hampshire and in was in the early stages of building the fascination for sports which has carried over to this day.

I’d watched boxing a handful of times prior to this, but this fight meant the world to me because Marvelous Marvin Hagler lived and trained in Massachusetts, so he was immediately my guy.

Tommy Hearns wasn’t just good, he was scary. A guy who could (and did) knock out any one with one punch.

For eight minutes, the two men didn’t box. They fought at the highest level with both giving as good as they got. I watched, hoping that Hagler would win.

In the third round, he did, sending Hearns totally off-kilter with one punch and then putting him to sleep a few seconds later.

I had never seen anything like it, but I was ecstatic that my guy had won against a bigger and faster opponent. Hagler took Hearns’s best shot and refused to fall.

I came away with it both fascinated and educated.

That night, I became a fighter.